Not much going on today. Went to a few yard sales. I know I usually end up with junk I don't need. But I did good today. I bought just books. I love to read and books are getting pretty expensive. I mean $8 for a paperback? Get real. You can just about forget getting hardbacks.
In Wil Wheaton's journal he had a list of things he would like to do. Great idea. My list of things to do before I die would go like: 1)visit alaska 2)finish writing who, what, where, when on the back of all the photo's I have 3)learn another langauge 4)get a dog 5)find someone to love (who loves me back, very important they love me back) 6)finish the finishing on my hardwood floors 7)write a book? no, I can't write, I'll stick to just being a reader and making real writers rich
Now that I started this list I realize that I don't really know what I want to do. You work, pay your bills and just sort of try to survive. Some people are always on the go and get so much seen, done, accomplished in their lifetimes. But it hasn't been that easy for me. Oh, yeah when I was younger I had hopes and dreams. I should have been married by now, maybe kids. But I haven't met Mr. Right, I've had a hysterectomy, and I got sick. I have major depression (sometimes the dr. says I could be on the low end of bipolar), anxeity attacks, panic attacks, and seasonal affective disorder. Sometimes I feel like I got a really bad deal. But you have to work with the cards you are dealt. I am in that "just gotta survive" mode right now. That comes and goes, just like the ocean tides. I haven't been able to work for awhile, but I get disabilty so I can pay my bills. Some days I feel that life could be great if I would just get off my butt, and it is great to be alive. Then, the depression or anexity kicks in and I feel sorry for myself. It is a terrible cycle.
I'm listening to 3 Doors Down. Love those guys. I like everything on the CD. The words to the songs seem to really hit home. Especially the song "Be Like That", and "Loser".
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