Sorry Russ that I put up something you can't compete in. It is going to take me forever to do it myself. I am going to have to print it out and grab a Bible to be able to do the whole thing I'm sure.
No I'm not better. Woke up crying. I am telling you that some of you just don't understand what it is like to be clinical depressed or to be bipolar and not be on any meds. It is the worse thing you can go through. You just want it over. You just want to die. It is horrible. It is not a "passing" thing. It is not something you will just "get over". It is something that if you aren't careful enough will kill you. Or leave you crazy enough to have to be locked up.
If you have never suffered through it you won't know and you won't understand. Mental illness is painful. Very painful. I could sit her and pick nothing but funny and fluffy stuff up and you would never know what I am going through. You would if you had face to face contact with me. I could hide it very well on line, and have hidden it before. This time I thought I would share so that maybe someone else who was going through it would know they aren't alone.
But I guess it was a bad idea to share. You don't understand and you don't get it. So I will try my very best not to mention it again. I will find funny and fluffy stuff to take up all the empty spaces in my journal. That will make most of you more comfortable I am sure.
Kathy
ps will try to stay away from religion for those that might feel offened or whatever. i'll find another place for that stuff.
24 comments:
Hi Kathy,
I understand, I am having a bad day today. Didn't feel like getting out of bed but had to, I have a son to take care of.
I haven't read in a while...so I need to catch up.
Why aren't you on your meds?? You need to contact your dr.
Hang tough girl.
Love,
Donna
HeyIm jewish and It did not bother me. Im pretty open minded I guess. It was a fun game and if you want to post religion hey its your thing. I wont tell you what to believe long as you dont me. we can both share and learn something about each other because its part of you adn I like you so I dont want you to have to hide anything from me. PAIN< RELIGION< FUNNIES or what ever!!!!!!! that said........ about the "PAIN" GET OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YUP thats what I have been told. GET OVER WHAT??????????? what is it. where do you did down deep inside andtake it apart and fix it????????? what where and how is it??????? I dont know Maybe IM too under it to see over it but all I kow is that its like a cancer that eats away at you and yes you can try meds but it will either get better for some and some it wont just like cancer and really are the side effects worth the meds???????? that is an individual question each one with "IT" has to answer. so Here is about all I can do {{{{{{{{{{{{{{KATHY}}}}}}}}}}}}
I think picking up your Bible is about the best place to go. So sorry your are having such a tough time, sometimes when no one else can help we just have to turn it over to God. He is the God of the impossible and wants us to ask for His help. (((Hugs))) Don't feel that you can share with us...as I always tell my children, if you don't let me know, then I don't know to pray...That's my job. 'On Ya' - ma
Oh Kathy...I've been there too. It's impossible to always post things that everyone will like...or not be offended by. I say..."POST AWAY...anything you damn please. No one is forcing anyone to read it. People can pick and choose which entries they want to read or respond to. It's their issue.
I feel that people are "package deals"...made up of lots of sides to them. Fluff and pain. Please continue to show us all of you.
I was also wondering why you're not choosing to be on meds? Is it an insurance thing? Just hate to see you suffer if you have a choice here on something that might help.
Take care....
Nancy
This is your journal, and you can say what you want. No one has any business judging you, you are you. Religion...go for it!! Your beliefs are as much a part of you as the air you breathe. How can that be wrong?? Its not. My heart goes out to you...depression is real, debilitating, and sad. Take care...
xoxo ~Myra
This is your journal and you can post whatever you want. I do know very well what bipolar is and how it feels to be depressed. Remember there are many people out there that are plain out ignorant and very judgemental. Write away my friend if they don't like it they can read elsewhere.
*Louise*
You just write it like it is Kathy
Religion, Depression the works
I know so do others.
When I was deeply depressed many years ago, my mother said 'buck your ideas up you have a family to look after' .....as if I did not know that!!! Depression is a silent illness that grabs you deep in its grip when you least expect it, at times you don't even feel it creeping up on you. This journal is for you, put in what you want....those that don't like the content can do one thing: ..'go take a hike'...! I may not always comment but I always visit so you must be doing something good!!!
I think you'll find plenty of people out there in a similar position Kathy. And you write what you want to write about. You're not writing on request - are you? It's your life. Your blog. You might even help others going a comparable hell.
Guido
http://journals.aol.co.uk/pharmolo/NorthernTrip
Dearest Kathy, this is your journal, and you should post whatever you want, about depression, about your feelings, about religion, about whatever. So sorry you got negative feedback. Yes, I hate it when people don't understand, and want me to just "snap out of it" or "pull myself up by the bootstraps" or something crazy like that. As you probably know, I too am bipolar. But I am doing well on medicine. I forget, why aren't you on medication? Anyway, post what you like if you feel comfortable. I like ALL of your postings, the ones where you don't feel up, and the ones that are funny. Love you girlie,
Krissy
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink
Kat, write want you want to dear, it's YOUR journal. There'll ALWAYS be a few that don't like what you write...that's what the red X is for!!!!
Love ya kiddo,
Sugar
Don't forget As I Am Kathy. Tammy
Kathy, Honey Bunches of Love, this is your journal. Write what you will here and we will read it and comment, or not. If you are worried about losing readers, you needn't be. We hop in for a read, we disappear for a few entries. It's all okay. Sometimes an uncomfortable post is just that. Uncomfortable. But it is through reading that we grow and learn and experience .... write on ... about whatever you choose.
Don't worry about offending anyone. This is your space, your feelings and your words from your heart. You've always spoke your mind and I like that about you.
About the depression, I can understand. About being BiPolar, I have no experience. I don't pretend to understand all of it. Just know I have a shoulder and am available for hugs whenever they are needed.
Deb
hi Kathy...
I know how you feel, my father had suffered manic depression for as long as i can remember and a close family member also suffers manic depression among other severe illnesses...it is really terrible and i too get depressed at times, i have been around this drpression all my life...I hope you feel better soon...God bless!
Astra!
It's your journal. Say whatever you want to say. Some people may not like an entry, so they can just move on. It's brave to tell what clinical depression is like. I have panic disorder and I'm not ashamed to say so. I think people need to know other people are suffering from ailments that they have. I don't get why people understand physical stuff and not mental stuff when actually they are all physical illnesses. The brain is an organ and it doesn't always funcition properly. I think people are "stupid" if they don't get that!
((((Kathy)))) It's your journal about YOU - why can't you vent what you want?!! Oooops you can! I'm sorry you're still feeling blue. Get those meds! Soon!
I just don't get it, when something as personal as a journal is attacked for its content. The journal belongs to the person who writes it, and these personal journals are there for the personal thoughts of the owner.
No one has ever been forced to read the work of another here. There is no need to even think it necessary for sharing one's thoughts in here.
I hope you get some relief. I do know what it is like, and it's awful. It doesn't "go away" and you don't "snap out of it". Please take care, and please continue to write whatever it is that moves you at the moment.
Jimmy
I do know what it's like to be clinically depressed and to have anxiety attacks. There should be no reason why you can't talk about it in your journal.
Lori
Keep religion in your journal!! Your spirituality is important to you and this is YOUR blog! Depression is a horrible disease and it's only made worse when people say things like "Snap out of it." I don't believe in your God, but I believe in you!
Russ
PLEASE do not apologize for how you are feeling....I TRULY UNDERSTAND what you are feeling,saying and going through...have been there and am there more times then I care to count. It is GOOD for you to write about it...at least it allows you to vent and allows others to see where you are at...
I do know the pain well...when I go without writing in my journal it is because those times have hit me most...just cannot bare to write about it...at least you have that strength...that is a good thing.
PLEASE KNOW that anytime you want to talk I am here...just an IM away...
Take Care of You!!!!!!
Ellie
i hate it when people say "you shouldn't feel that way" or "i don't let that bother me", and as far as "get over it" goes, if it were that easy we'd do it. i have accepted myself for who/what i am and if people don't understand/accept me, they can "get over it" and "move past it". good luck and take care. http://journals.aol.co.uk/cindytessier/cindi-loos-hoos/
Kathy...dont let anyone close your boxes of discovery...if someone is offended by religion...then let that be....depression is very real...but its not something we have to live with forever...BUT it takes time....along to time....to conquer....I know alot about it and have different takes on it...and have a dear friend who is bi-polar...its not easy..I know depression as well.....but there is always hope..its one of the few things we can count on....
~Raven
If someone has never experienced depresssion, they do not know what they are talking about. I could go on and on about it. I stay on my meds. It helps alot, but I have also gone through alot of counseling. A christian counselor, group sessions, psychiatrist and that is all I can think of right now. Discuss it in your journal. If someone does not like it they should turn the page. It is your journal and you can talk about what you want to. Lots of hugs!
I don't have a journal, but I do have e-mail.
jeane
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