Sometimes I wonder why it is (or so it seems) that some
people can just sail through life without any major
problems. How some seem to live life to its fullest. How
some don't inherit all the physical problems that is handed
down from generation to generation.
My brother was born with a birth defect. Doctors told
my parents that it was nothing they did wrong. It was
something inherited. They told the doctor he was wrong
this "defect" was no where in the family. Then at a family
reunion when my brother was in his late teens early
twenty's they saw it. A distant cousin had the same thing.
See, doctors were right it was inherited. But it didn't
happen in a "straight line", it was more in a "round about"
way. But it was there.
Same thing can be said for mental illness'. More likely than
not if you have a mental illness chances are you will find
a family member (or lots of family) that has the same
illness or something simular to what you have.
The thing is that family will admit to having "passed on"
some genetic defects but they won't admit to having any
mental illness' in the family. Why? I had someone the
other day tell me they don't blame people for not wanting
to admit they could have passed on this gene. Why? I
don't understand this and quite frankly this really pissed
me off.
I have a mental illness. I KNOW it is inherited. I KNOW
there are family members with the same type of problems.
I KNOW from which side the family it comes. So why
when a family member is approached about the illness
being inherited they totally lose it? Refuse to discuss it?
And after they calm down they will admit that "so and so's
daughter" has simular problems (but she is just crazy.
remember how she acted as a teen). But to look at them-
self and just admit that yeah it could have come from me
is something they aren't willing to do.
And then to have someone who is your friend say they
don't blame them for not fessing up? Bet you wouldn't
have said that about any other illness would you? Maybe
being my friend is harder than you thought it would be.
Maybe you don't want to "see" my problems.
Folks mental illness is just like any other physical illness,
you just can't see it. You could see my brother's "defect"
(but thanks to some doctors that worked miracles you
can no longer see it) but not mine. Everyone will admit
that his "defective" gene was in "in the family". But no
one wants to admit to my "defective" gene being in the
family.
Well screw you! Don't admit it. I have plenty other
inherited problems (high blood pressure, high colestrol)
and even this horrible bipolar disease. I know where it
came from. I am not blaming anyone. Crap happens.
You never know when a baby is born what it might inherit
and from who. But to just flat out deny it is wrong. You
aren't protecting anyone. You aren't helping anyone.
No, this isn't the rant I wanted to do the other day. But
the more I thought about something that was said to me
the more I had to get it off my chest.
Saturday, September 23, 2006
A rant. Not THE rant, but a rant all the same
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16 comments:
I think that people are afraid of mental illness. There is such a stigma tied to it. But not mentioning it isn't going to make it go away. I know that in my POS (parents of suicides) group, many of their children would be alive today if more notice had been given to mental illness and it wasn't seen as such and "evil" or "crazy" thing to have. It's so unfair. This is a great entry you wrote here, Kathy. Thanks for sharing this part of you. Hugs and blessings, Gloria, Kevin's mom
Nice entry. As you know my dtr is menatlly challeged, but hers was caused from lack of oxygen at birth. But I understand what you mean. {{{}}}
Sug
An illness is an illness. Whether it's physical or mental. People are treated differently. That's why we have As I Am. You are what matters. Tammy
I inherited a predisposition to depression...both parents. Lucky me. It doesn't really matter where it came from. Just that you are able to recognize there is an issue and deal with it in a productive manner.
Good entry.
Pam
I love the image of the mousy bouncing on the kitties tummy. It's so cute.
I'm so sorry that you have been disappointed and let down by family not
admitting to their illness/es. Maybe they're in denial? I know many people
with bipolar and it can be a hard thing to admit to having. I'm so proud of
you for not being ashamed and putting it all out there. You go Kathy!!
I'm here supporting you 100 percent.
Much love,
Luann
Yes my family has mental illness and it is nothing to be ashamed of but aware of. We all have to be aware of it so when we need help, we get it and not deny it and end up hurting ourselves or someone else.. My grandmother, God bless her soul, suffered her whole life with a terrible mentl illness and alcahol abuse. I miss her. Cause through all that she was a sweet lady in the end. Her poor son, my Uncle killed himself when he was in his mid 20's. he also suffered from the same illness as her.. it was so sad.
http://journals.aol.com/cgferrer71/christineg34/
Christine
Well I dont know that my mental problems are interited but Ithink they were encouraged in some ways but I feel it could be worse too. I love the kitty andmoust up top
Every thing we are, we inherited. I see so many things in my children that point to a particular grandmother, father, aunt, uncle etc. that it would be hard to deny.
Go ahead and rant...it's good for the soul ! 'On Ya' - ma
http://journals.aol.com/marainey1/GoodMorningSunshine/
Applause! Applause! You go girl. This needed to be said.
Angela
You can see some mental illnesses definitely do have inheritability & then there is still environment one grows up in. I agree it is difficult for people to admit because it has more of stigma but remember there are some illnesses like that too. Certainly, HIV still has stigma, though not inherited people do not want to admit it. Also, some that we do not know exactly the cause or seem to have some inheritance...remember Cancer use to have a stigma long time ago. People would not kiss someone with Cancer then etc. Alcoholism was also another.
Remember all that matters is how you live your life. You can't do anything about others & don't let them get you down at all. They are not in the same place you are.
It's all about the stigma and the label Kathy -- and it isn't easy to justify a relatives not wanting to admit it. In our family every one knew, but no one would talk about it. Well, occasionally the three sisters (my mother and aunts) would whisper to each other. This left the children as they grew wondering what the hell was going on and it wasn't until we were all WELL INTO adulthood that we started talking about 'the way we were (or are)'. Rant on if it helps.
Love your background!
It certainly is all about stigma. My SIL`s mother is bi polar and several other of her relations have it to so there is no question of it not being genetic. Why some people mental illness more than physical I don`t know but it`s as real as any other.
Sandra xxxx
I couldn't agree with you more. I have no idea why mental illness is something relatives want to shove back into the deepest recesses of their gene closets and pretend it's not there and it didn't come from their side etc. Ridiculous. In this day and age we are so much more informed on this subject, why are people still embarrassed about this being in the family. Maybe it's ignorance, maybe they are not in the more informed catagory because they are too busy denying it that they aren't able to see anything that pertains to it. It's too bad you have to deal with these people.
xoxo, Heather
These days it's important to be open about the genetic component of mental illness or the predisposition towards it. But there is a huge stigma attached to that subject, and that is taking an awful lot of breaking down.
Guido
http://journals.aol.co.uk/pharmolo/NorthernTrip
Ranting is a good thing.......I don't think keeping stuff inside is healthy at all. You seem to have a very good attitude about your illnesses {{{{{Kathy}}}}} and I applaud you for the way you express yourself about them.
Vivian
there is such a "negative" connotation that goes along the phrase mental illness that everyone tries to avoid it like the plague...but no matter how much people want to deny it may have come from them...or that someone in the family has a mental illness it is still a reality ...and it will come back to haunt them for not dealing with it...thanks for speaking the truth.....
Ellie
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