Everyone seems to think I am being hard on my brother. Maybe I am. Maybe something inside of me will soften. But right now I am deeply, deeply hurt.
And the fact that this coming Sunday is Mother's Day isn't helping anything. Even before mom passed Mother's Day's ads were all over the place. Every time I saw/heard one it feels like a knife stabbing into me.
Dad and I both see a grief counselor on Monday (different counselors but at the same place). I hope we both can come away with something that will help us deal with our feelings better.
Kathy
10 comments:
Yes, those mothers day ads can be very painful...I can't stand them either. I'm glad you're seeing a grief counselor. Maybe it will help in some little way.
Hang in there...
Nancy
It is not that what your brother has done is not wrong, but that you carry such pain in your heart. You were blessed by a loving mother that I'm sure loved you both. Mother's forgive things that others cannot. Try to remember the happy times with your mom. I know she'll forever be in your heart. 'On Ya' - ma
Know how difficult Mother's Day will be for you. Experienced the same--Mom was buried the day before Mother's Day--in fact on this date, May 8th! Sorry to tell you, but Mother's Day just doesn't seem to get any easier. Would you believe, my Mom died 51 years ago--and this whole week leading up to Mother's Day has been rough this year, and every year since 1957! Hope the grief counselor helps. We didn't have such those many years ago. LaVern
The best way I know to get ready to soften, is to start praying for the person/situation that has you upset. At first your prayers will be little more than rants. Ask the Lord to help you see him/it as He sees him/it. At first you won't mean it. Ask Him to help you mean it. Over time, God will change your understanding and your outlook. He will reveal things to you that leads you to a point where you can feel forgiveness.
I can't think of anything that could make this Mother's Day bearable after loosing her so recently. All I can offer is to cling to each other and to the Lord.
You are in my prayers. - Barbara
Oh sweetie. I really feel for you. I can understand why you have said those things about your brother. Sometimes the way we all act when we are under tremendous stress and shock, Is to act completely out of character or say and do things that seem morally wrong. Try not to hold too much against him until you have a chance to really speak to him. He needs you more than you will probably realise. He will know that you and your dad have a councillor and maybe he feels that he can cope on his own If he has just avoided things like the viewing and the funeral. Look back through your earlier entry where you wrote about him coming to stay and how he managed to take care of your mother on his own. On the outside it may seem he is an uncaring so and so but I bet you on the Inside he is crumbling. I hope you get resolve and soon. Take care sweetie. Love Pam xx
Mother's Day will always be hard for you, I guess. My mom is gone 11 years now and I still cannot bear this holiday. I'll pray for peace in your heart on Sunday, it's the best I have to offer. Love, Penny http://journals.aol.com/firestormkids04/FromHeretoThere
http://journals.aol.com/firestormkids04/TimeforaLittlePoetry
Dear Kathy, I am glad to read that you are seeing a grief counselor on Monday. I will be praying that she/he can help. I waited for over two years before I realised that that was what I might need and once I did it did help...not at once by any means...but after a while it became easier to cope but now it is 14 years this last week since Mum died it is still hard...Much LOve Sybil xx
Kathy, as the sister of a brother who didn't go to the calling hours or the funeral of my mother -- I completely understand.
I have a hard time with this holiday too...it's easier this year than last, but it'll always be a sad day on the calendar.
(((hug)))
Russ
I'm glad your going to see a grief counselor. It'll help Kathy. I just dont know what to say about your brother. I wish I did.
Connie
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