Me again. Love you guys.

    I am sorry that I lashed out the way I did yesterday. 
    Don't get me wrong, I'm not sorry for what I said, 
    but I shouldn't have made the entry from the angry
    place I was in at the time.

   Thank you all for the emails and the comments. 
   It means more to me than you will ever know. 
   And to the 2 of you shared even more (I hope you know
   who you are) you are the best.  Some of the dust flew
   off your halo's and got into my eye.  :)

    I probably also had a knee jerk reaction to the
   post that I took down.  Everyone has a right to
   their opinions but I never would have thought anyone
   would think that I was trivalizing the war in Iraq or
   trying to further any kind of propogadia.
    I saw light hearted pictures with our military 
    men and women and thought the captions were
    cute.  That's it.  I had no thought of the war or of
   anyone taking the post as any thing but funny.

    Life is hard right now.  Not only I am dealing with the 
   darkness of my clinical depression, but also with
   the mental status of my mother.  Tomorrow I take
   her to the doctor and will have to tell the doctor I think
   something is wrong with mom.  That is bad enough but
   doing it in the state I am in isn't making anything
    any easier for me at the moment.

    I have tried not to post from my dark places here.  I
    know that some have no idea about clinical depression.
    I know that unless you have it -- or a loved one has it
    you can't understand.  My bad.

   I go to the doctor this afternoon.  Hopefully he will have
   a new idea of where to go with my meds.

   So much for the darkness.  

   And pear dude about your last comment, thanks.  It
   means the world to me.  We are so different yet more
   alike than we know.

   Another topic please!!!!!

   Going through some bookcases trying to clean out this
   mess I call a home I found a book I didn't know I had
   (found several really).  "Happy Thoughts  333 Things
   to make you happy."  As you can tell the book hasn't done
   much for me.  LOL  But I thought what the heck.  I have
   a huge collection of those "nothing books" blank journals
   or whatever you want to call them.  I buy them but never
   write in them.  I am so weird.  Anyway I have a small
   thin one that I have decided to make into my own
   "happy thoughts".  Though the book is blank except for
   the title page I have given it, I am going to try to make
    my own list of 333 things that make me happy.  Ok,
    so I don't were the author came up with 333 things, so
    my book my have more or probably less.  It make take
    my life time to get a list long enough to go past the
    first few pages but I am going to try.  Maybe some of
    you guys would want to do the same.  Get a small notebook
    or whatever and start a list.  And keep it going.  
    Don't know if it will actually make any of us happy, but
    then again maybe a year or so down the road it might
    be something good to look at.  Maybe they will let me
    read it in my padded cell.  :)

                
        Tags: clinical depression, respect, happy thoughts, anger, sorry