Ok, folks here we go:
Exercise 1:
Open your refrigerator door and insert on breast in door. Shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for 5 seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective.
Exercise 2
Visit your garage at 3 AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off oll your clothes and line comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and Chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.
Exercise 3
Freeze 2 metal bookends over night. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room to press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as they can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.
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