Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I'm still around. Barely, but I am.

The hard part of living with diabetes is watching what and how much food I stuff into my mouth.  Harder still is that I have always been an emotional eater.  Now I can't be so much.  NOW I need my comfort food (that has been slowly killing me).  I did get the exercise bike (treadmills are just too big for my small rooms).  Haven't had it long enough to have spent much time on it.  And now I really don't want to.  I could care less. 

I just want to climb in bed pull the covers over my head and sleep.  And stay that way until everything goes away.

Dad seems bound and determined to get mom put into a nursing/assisted living place.  I don't see what he sees that is so bad.  But then I don't live there.  I feel like he just doesn't want to take care of her.  There it is, I said it.  I think my dad just plain doesn't want to look after her.

Mom can still get to the bath room by herself.  She can dress herself (takes forever though).  She can fix herself a snack (cheese on crackers).  She might could fix a meal but she gets so she staggers around and you just know she is going to fall.  She does get up in the middle of the night and see something on the floor and try to pick it up only to fall (or almost fall, she grabs onto stuff on the way down).

Mom and Dad argue more often than not.  My mom has turned into some what of a b****.  But she is almost 76 years old.  But it gets to my dad and he will argue with her only to feel bad about it later.

I can't do much of anything unless I was to bring mom to live with me.  But I really don't think that is a good idea.  So I am basically stuck with going along with whatever dad decides to do.  Maybe something else will happen.  I did get him to call this place to see what services they offer (or know about at other places) to help keep elderly people in their homes.  He's waiting on a call back from them so I don't know what will happen there.

Mom gets so confused easily.  She isn't really mom anymore.  But she does know that dad is thinking of putting her in a nursing home.  And she ain't happy about it at all.

Kathy

 

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Was wondering why it wouldn't be a good idea to bring your mom home to live with you?  Do you not get along?

Anonymous said...

I am sorry about your mom - there should be visiting nurses or visiting helpers in your area to help with the elderly that just might be the answer for your parents...
I hope it all works out for the best.
I know so well about getting under the covers and sleeping...been there so many times...still there.
If you need a shoulder - I am here - you know that!!!
Peace-Ellie

Anonymous said...

You are stuck in a tough situation with your mom and dad.  That alone would make any one depressed.  Sending hugs.
Missie

Anonymous said...

You're not in an easy position with your parents, Kathy.
Hope you manage to keep some sort of control over what you eat - I don't like the word diet.

Anonymous said...

i am so sorry to here you are feeling bad. Remember you don't have to go through it alone. your dad shouldn't have too hard of a time finding help with your mom I used to be a home health aid so i know they are out there.

Anonymous said...

Your journal today gave me a chuckle.  Thanks.  Since I am now 75, looking forward to when I turn 76 -- getting my license to be a b****!  J/K, Hugs, LaVern

Anonymous said...

((((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU)))))))))))))It is nice to hear from you,I am sorry your going through a hard time.I hope and pray something good comes out for your Mom.Have a nice evening.

Anonymous said...

Lots of hugs coming your way. Sorry you are having such a bad day.

God be with you.
Tia

Anonymous said...

Kathy
Sorry things are not going so well with your family right now.  These are tough choices and I'll keep you in my prayers.  Good luck with the food issue.
Sam

Anonymous said...

Oh sweetie, you are having a rough day. Big hugs coming your way and special thoughts to hopefully lift your spirits.

The diabetic eating this is still new for you. Trust me, it will become a habit and pretty soon you'll know exactly what you can and cannot do.

Hugs, my friend

Deb

Anonymous said...

While it's good to see you, I'm sorry it's on less-than-ideal terms. I have my EX father in law living with me, and it's not easy, for sure, but I'm not dealing with it completely alone.

I hope there's some peaceful resolution down the road for you.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear of your worries with your parents.  I guess you're right, and you don't know what your dad may be going through at home, but I do hate to hear that someone is being put in a "home" when she can still do some things for herself.  I hope that it works out.  
Lori

Anonymous said...

Kathy -- it's so tough when our parents age before our eyes and we worry about what is going on in their home.  Your dad probably needs help to take care of her and there should be an 'elder expert' in the area that can point him and your mother in the right direction -- for senior day care, help and home and the like.

Good luck to your dad and you.

Take care of yourself Kathy.  Get on the bike!  (Yeah, I should talk).

Anonymous said...

Hi hon. I'm so glad I located you again. I've not received any alerts saying you posted for quite awhile so came to check it out myself. Every once in awhile I go through this with my computer..or AOL, don't know which. I am dealing with diabetes too so understand how frustrating it can be. It's tough to deal with - and I imagine even tougher when you're depressed. It must be tough to see your Mother as she is. I tried to imagine myself in your dad's shoes. It must be extremely difficult for him too. It would be so great if he is able to get outside help. That way your Mother could stay where she is. I'll keep both of them in prayer, and you too. Take care of yourself, okay?
Love, hugs and prayers always.
Barb- http://journals.aol.com/barbpinion/HEYLETSTALK