Monday, April 23, 2007

just a big old baby, that's me

Missed me?  Probably not but that's ok. 

I went for all my pre-op stuff today.  I will have my surgery this Wednesday.  Have to be at the hospital at 7:45am. 

I have had surgeries before.  Major and minor ones.  But for some reason this upcoming one has gotten the best of me.  I am not sure why.  Is it my depression?  My anexity/panic disorder kicking into high gear?  Am I just turning into a baby and worring about the pain afterwards?  Don't have a clue.  Maybe it's everything all rolled into one.  But I must say that I do feel like a big baby.

I have the fridge/freezer all stocked up on goodies that come with getting your tonsils out.  I have the pain meds, all stocked up on cat food.

Mom feels left out because she can't do anything to help me.  Dad feels a little put out because he is the one that will have to help me some (with the cats, and stuff).  I feel bad because I feel like I'm all alone in this.  I guess that's what you get if you get to the ripe old age of..........well, my age and don't have a partner or kids.  I never wanted to grow old alone but it is happening to me.  And something like this surgery just makes being alone that much worse.  Oh it will pass I am sure.  I'm sure Dad probably isn't as put out as I think.  My imagination is just running away with me.  Depression will do that to a person.

I haven't been online at all lately. I have just been way to tired.  I don't know if the tired is coming from the tonsil, or part of my depression.  I guess if I stay this tired after the surgery I can go to Dr Shrink and say with confidence it's the depression and I need different drugs.

The cats managed to break one of their "cat trees".  I wouldn't have thought it possible.  Luckily my dad managed to figure out a way to fix it.  Those things cost way too much to throw out, and the level they broke was needed to get to the higher parts.  While my dad was here fixing it Sophie was loving all over him.  It's like she knew he was fixing it for her.

I hate that I haven't done the entry in honor of Pamela yet.  I hope should will forgive me.  I will get it done one day.  Pamela touched me in such a way that I will never forget her.

Take care everyone.  I don't know if I will be online tomorrow or not.  I may have too much anxeity to do anything.

PS  I know that my little minor surgery is nothing compared to what some of you are going through.  I know.  And that is one reason I feel like such a big baby......

Kathy

 

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

Being tired is normal Kathy. My sister is a nurse and she says it can cause a lot of symptoms. We are all with you my friend. Tammy

Anonymous said...

(((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU))))))))))))))))))Shoot,I would be worrying about surgey to,even if it was that minor.I be getting something to help calm me down before the surgey.lol.Your aloud to take pain pills,I hope it wont be to hard for you to swollow.You will be in ny thoughts and prayers,Just take it easy and keep us posted.

Anonymous said...

I have been thinking about you.  Of course we miss you when you are not around.

Krissy
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink

Anonymous said...

YES....I have missed having you around......PLEASE know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers that the surgery will be nothing for you and your recovery quick....keep positive....eat some icecream for me....lol
take care]
-Ellie

Anonymous said...

Good luck on Wed.  Will be thinking of you!
Pam

Anonymous said...

I was in a room with a girl who had this done.
You will definately need someone to help you.
It is alot harder on adults than children.

Anonymous said...

wwo the cats got rough on the tree to break it. must have had a flw in the tree. WE WIll keep you in prayers and you shoudl be concerned anytime you go in. not panicky but concerned. its good your not taking it lightly so you can be prepared to check up on the facts. will keep you in prayer

Anonymous said...

I know the feelings, but nothing is "small" when it comes to our health. I hope it goes well, and that you get all the help that you do need. Take care, we'll be thinking of you.

Jimmy

Anonymous said...

I'll be saying a little prayer for you .  It sounds like you are all ready and prepared.  Take good care !  'On Ya' - ma

Anonymous said...

It's OK to feel like a big baby, and it's OK to be scared. To be honest with you, recovery might take longer than two weeks so I suggest stocking up on popsicles. Ice cream is great, but the popsicles provide more relief and they're not as fattening as the ice cream. My husband had his tonsils and uvula removed because of sleep apnea when he was in his late 40's and the recovery for him was awful. It took almost two months for him to be able to start eating regularly without feeling pain. The good thing is that it did help his sleep apnea and he's able to sleep like a baby now. I wish you luck on your surgery!

Mandy ~

Anonymous said...

Don't need to compare your pain or worries to others....your surgergy is important!  Good luck...we'll be thinking of ya!

nancy

Anonymous said...

I HAVE missed you!!  Maybe the surgery and the removal of tonsils which have caused you several infections will improve your mood and energy level.

Hug,
Russ

Anonymous said...

Nothing is little when it is happening to you.  ;o)  Praying for a successful surgery and speedy recovery.  -  Barbara

Anonymous said...

Certainly pray that all goes well for you.  Can understand your anxiety when facing surgery alone.  Though I had been married for 29 years, no children, and husband died 4 years ago, so I do share many of the feelings that you expressed.  You do have something to be thankful for--your parents are still living!  May not be as bad as you are anticipating.  I was in my 20's, and I don't remember it being too bad--but maybe the years have erased the memories!  LaVern

Anonymous said...

You'll do just find, Darlin'.  Get Dad to get you some banana popcicles.  

I'll call you when you get home, and I'll be there with you in the hospital...late into the night.  Promise.  So you can get your rest, and know you're not all alone.

All my love,

Andi

Anonymous said...

We're all here for you, sweetie!!!

Hang tough and we're all here to help support you along the way.

Hugs my friend

Deb

Anonymous said...

I think being nervous over any surgery, big or small is concerning.  I'd be a baby too.  I'll be thinking of you!!
Missie

Anonymous said...

Kathy
We will be rooting for you tomorrow for a sucessful outcome to the surgery.  You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Sam

Anonymous said...

I've missed you :)  The operation will go along just fine, try not to worry about it too much 'k?  And yes, depression does have that affect on one doesn't it?  I hate it when I feel that way.  Hugz, Teresa

Anonymous said...

Dahling, IT'S TONSILS, not a spleen!  LOL!

You'll do fine!  Good luck and enjoy the jello!

Anonymous said...

Good luck for Wednesday, Cathy.

Anonymous said...

Good luck on Wed, I'll be saying a prayer for you that morning! {{{{{ }}}}}
Sugar

Anonymous said...

Hey you're not a big baby..... not at all.  Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.
love ya
d

Anonymous said...

You're not a big baby....pain is pain....no matter what it is. You'll be in my prayers.
Lisa

Anonymous said...

I hope the surgery went well today.
Lori

Anonymous said...

hey kathy, how u doing? hope the surgery went on all fine and u dont have much pain to bear.
im not sure if u remeber me. i wrote u a comment some ages ago that i signed in this site to send u comments. but well, i havent sent u much, i know. but ive been reading all ur posts, one after the other. just didnt get to give u a feedback.
hope and pray every th get back to normal for u soon and ull be alright.
narcis
www.narcisandherlife.blogsky.com

Anonymous said...

Kathy~  we all have times when we feel like big babies and as if our troubles are small compared to others.  But we are living our lives, not theirs.

Hope your surgery went well and you are back to writing and reading soon.

Oh, and by the way ... I don't comment all the time, but I did notice you weren't here!

Anonymous said...

Just wondering how you are.  Hope you are doing well and no more soreness.  Love, Shelly

Anonymous said...

Just checking in to see if you survived the weekend.  I hope you don't have too much pain, and have lotsa banana popcicles!

Love,

Andi

Anonymous said...

Hope you're doing well! Update when you can, ok?

Jimmy

Anonymous said...

Chronic tonsilitis and other things related to needing tonsils removed, can really, really wear down a body.  BTDT.  Finally had my tonsils removed as an adult, also.  I hope this means you'refeeling better by now.  It hurts like *&*$%^^$## but gosh the overall body started to feel better.  Not saying that you can't also be depressed, or depressed in relation, please, you know yourself best, just pointing out the hope that I think you'll receive better health and spirits after youv'e recuperated from your tonsilectomy, too:)

Anonymous said...

Just checking in, hope everything is ok...Hugz, Teresa