The Day After

Last night was J-land's Crystal Ball.  It was great.  I am not much of a chat room person but I still had a good time.  That was until my depression -- which has been back in rare form lately -- kicked into high gear.

  You know how people say you can be in a room full of people but still feel alone?  All of the sudden I got a huge pang of that.  And then the tears came.   Then I started having my own little pity party.  And let me tell you I throw great pity parties.

  Slept in this morning.  I have been missing church because of the depression.  And at my pity party last night I was wondering if I could just disappear would anyone miss me?  Slept in this morning.  I have been missing church because of the depression.  To my surprise my pastor called me this morning -- between Sunday School and the morning service.  Not much time there if you are the pastor.

  He is the only one from church that I have heard from -- even though I have missed a lot of church lately -- and naturally I started crying while on the phone.  But I did feel better.  I told him he had no idea how much his call meant to me.


  My car.  The one place replaced the starter.  Then it started making a noise.  Took it to another place, they said it was a bad starter.  So they took it off and my took and exchanged it at the Auto Zone.  Get the starter on there and crank it up. 

  Noise is still there, only worse.  Great.

  Think it is the flywheel.  The whowhatwheel?  Yeah, look here there is the flywheel. Oh the whatcamacallit, yeah I see that.  Well, it is supposed to be blah, blah, blah, (that's not what he said but is pretty much what I heard).  Understand?  Gotcha.  The whatizit is supposed to dabingdabang and it isn't.  Now what?  Replace it.  OK.  Replace it.  When can I get my car back? At the earliest Tuesday but could be Wednesday.  Say what?  Well, to replace the thingamabob you have to pull the transmission.


  Sadie felt tons better after her little stay with the vet Friday morning.  But by the evening she still wouldn't eat.  Called Dr B Saturday morning -- before taking my car to get fixed -- he didn't like the sound of her not eating.  They only work 1/2 on Saturday so he couldn't do much.  Wait and bring her in Monday and we will do more x-rays on her esophagus maybe something else is going on or we missed something.  If she gets really worse call and have them beep him.

  Went to the store and got some baby food, thought maybe she would eat that.  She tried it, I put her regular food in front of her and she walks away.  Mixed the baby food into cat food and she will eat enough that I can get her meds into her.  But that's about it.

  Sadie doesn't really act sick, but she isn't eating so I don't know what is going on.

  I do know that my car and Sadie aren't doing much for my depression right now.   
  I am lucky enough to be able to borrow my mom's car until I get mine back.  I was lucky to go to the Ball last night.  Between Gregg losing the handcuffs and putting flamingo's in John Scalzi's yard.......well, you had to have been there.