So I'm not crazy after all

I am so glad that no one thought I had totally lost it after my last entry.  And it's nice to know that some of you are weird like me!  LOL

I know I am still not updating everyday and I honestly don't know why.  I just can't seem to get myself to log on most days.  It's really weird.  I am trying to do better though.

Since today was a holiday I went to my parents house for lunch.  It was yummy.  Meatloaf, mac and cheese, and mashed pototoes.  Some of my favorite foods.

The other night I got the shock of a lifetime.  My middle niece (she's 21) called me.  She has NEVER called me.  (She had to call mom to get my number)  She got married at 16 years old and had a baby a few years later.  She isn't with her husband anymore.  I still can't believe she called, and for no reason other that just to chat!  She's going to email me some pictures of her little girl, can't wait to see them.

It would be nice to have a relationship with all 3 of my nieces someday.  Their mom hates this side of the family and kept the kids -- and my brother  -- away from us as much as possible (years at a time).  Who knows maybe something good will come from this.

Kathy

Do you ever wonder..........

For some strange reason I have been thinking a lot about butterflies lately.

And if I think of something long enough I begin to really think about it.  My mind starts to wonder off in weird directions.  Once I saw this teeny tiny ant, and my mind began to roam around: can you image how small it's heart must be?  I mean the ant could fit on a pin head so it's littl brain and tiny heart have to be really small...........and what about it's poop?  It has to be soooooooo small you would never see it sitting there on your lunch.

So you see, when I say I wonder, I mean it.

Back to butterflies.  When I was little I always loved caterpillars and playing with them.  I don't think I fully understood that it would one day be a beautiful butterfly.  I know my dad hated them and would step on every one he could.

So now I am thinking of that caterpillar making it's little cocoon, and sleeping (?) for a couple weeks only to wake up a butterfly.

I wonder...........can that caterpillar really know he will wake up with wings one day?  wasn't it hard enough to learn to walk with all those legs and now it will have to learn to fly?..........do ya think it's painful to go from caterpillar to butterfly?  look at how different the bodies are.............does the butterfly remember being a caterpillar?

I can't get my wondering mind wrapped around an animal, excuse me an insect, I can't get my mind wrapped around an insect changing into something else.  How cool would it be to watch what happens inside that cocoon?

Ok, I told you I get way out there in my wondering if I have thought about anyone one thing too long.

So lately I have wondered about the teeny tiny heart (and poop) of those teeny tiny aunts, and about a caterpillar morphing into a butterfly.

Do you wonder as weirdly as I do?  It's just me isn't it?  Yeah, I thought so.

Kathy 

 

Tags: wonder, butterflies, caterpillars, teeny tiny ants

meow

I have got to get off my hiney and do some "spring cleaning".  I have more stuff than one person needs.

You know I have a thing for books, but at some point in time I must have bought books when I should have been in a padded cell!  On my bookshelves I found a book called something like:  How to Get a Country Man.  I don't have the exact title because I totally freaked and threw the book at the nearest Good Will box.  I also have found a book called "The Book of Intentions" (the first step in creating a more fulfulling life)  For the life of me I can't remember picking up a self help book.  But this one doesn't seem too bad.  It may get to live here a little longer before going off to GoodWill.

I still put an ice pack on my neck at times.  Even though I'm not in pain it seems to really sooth my throat.

Not much going on here.   Sometimes the cats make enough noise at night I think someone is breaking in.  LOL  You love them and then sometimes you just want strangle them.  LOL  Life would be totally empty without pets.

Kathy

My girls

Cats are funny creatures.  And I mean that in the most loving adorable way. 

My babies Maggie and Sophie have never liked my dad.  If he came for a visit they both would run and hide. Until now........But they still aren't huge fans of him.

Since I was in the looney bin for 5 days dad came to my house twice a day to feed and water my cats.  He even stayed for a couple hours one day so the kitties could go play on the back porch.  (Thought I had died when I heard dad did that!)

So now Maggie doesn't run and hide from him but she won't be friendly towards him either -- he can get a pet or two in.  Sophie on the other hand has turned into a little hussy.  She will come and rub up on dads feet, fall all over his shoes, rub against them, you would think his feet was made out of cat nip or something.

So something good did come out of my hospital stay.  My cats can finally tolerate my dad, and I found out just how much he likes them (the 2 hour stay so they could go on the porch, that was way above the call of duty.)

Hope everyone is doing ok.

Kathy

 

 

Great day in the morning! Kathy's still with us!!!!!

Hello everyone!!!  Hope you are feeling ok.  Thanks so much for the comments, emails, and cards!  I am doing much, much better.

I still have a little pain from the operation but it's nothing I can't handle.  In fact I thought the whole thing would been mountains and mountains of pain, BUT either I just didn't have all that much pain (well there was 1 day that was really bad),  or I can handle pain much better than I orginally thought.  Of course you should count in a week in the loony bin -- maybe my head was too screwed up to register all the pain.  LOL

I have been having more problems getting used to the meds the Dr Shrink wants me to take than with my throat.  My "system" is finally starting to get back to normal.  Whatever normal is!  LOL

Oh, I still get this feeling in the back of my throat, like something is caught and you can't get it to go down.  Guess that is still something from the surgery.  I saw the surgeon's PA last week and she said all was good, still a little swollen back there.

I'm going to try really really hard to long on everyday and to start visiting everyone again.

Kathy

Well they didn't manage to kill me.........

On Wed the 25th I had my tonsils out  -  as you well know. (outpatient) Actually it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  But the nurses said wait for the 3rd day, that day is the worst.  Well they were right!  But I thought I would make it, until into the night and the morning of that Saturday.

Had to call my doctor.  I got his PA instead and she told me to go to the hospital and she would call ahead for them to be ready for me.

I spent most of Saturday in the ER waiting to be admitted.  It was horrible.

I won't go into all the details now, but I was admitted to the phych ward for a week.  Seems that either the anesthesia had effect on my pre-exisiting clinical depression/ panic disorder, or the pain meds interacted with my depression/anexiety meds.  Maybe a combination of the two things.

My throat is almost healed, and well, the doctor's on working on the spririt.

I KNOW my doctor was FULLY aware of my "issues" and meds, and I would have thought the operating room staff would have been also, so they could have used different stuff on me.

Just wanted to let you know that I am still alive --  despite the meds that were given to me.  I shouldn't compain, thank God I had my parents to help take care of things (including my little kitties who missed me the week I was in loco-land)

I haven't read anyone yet, this is the first I have been on line since my last entry.  I hope everyone is doing ok and I hope that I will be back on more and more in the coming days.

Kathy